Who I Am, Who I Was
by LionessKeeper
Summary: It started with how I thought it would be. Then I added how it actually was. But I give two possible ways it might have gone down/
1. Author's note

**Author's note:**

**I wrote this fanfic just out of pure speculation about how Peter is going to sound. At the time that I wrote this particular first part I wrote the Scottish stuff in with the hope that Peter would have been allowed to keep it. Thankfully he has (I'm very very pleased).**

**Also, just a note on where I got the idea to start this particular part. I had started it only going on one piece of information that Jenna talked about in the Metro newspaper in which she said: 'The strange thing is, I have filmed my first scene with him and the first thing we did was the regeneration and I was looking him in the eyes and I had no idea what he was going to do and vice versa. But I could just feel he had definitely arrived and I have no shadow of a doubt he is going to be wonderful but different." (Metro)**

**The second is more based on speculation about the type of Doctor Peter might be, this is more of a hope for me as to how Peter is going to be. It is sort of based on a bit in an interview that Armando Iannucci did in the Radio Times:"Iannucci said that he expected Capaldi to excel in the role of the Time Lord due to the broad emotional range he could bring to the part. "The thing about Peter as Malcolm is he is very angry, and we have seen that powerful side to him, but he is actually a very gentle, funny guy. "But as the Doctor what will he be like? I imagine you will see that range of him going from being gentle to quite a strong and powerful personality and I am really looking forward to it." (Radio Times)**

**To all extent and purposes, if Iannucci is right we are in for a bit of a treat with Peter as our Doctor and I have to say, I'm a bit excited about it. There is very little left for me to that, however I think Neil Gaiman's character Idris (TARDIS) best said what I want to say to our new new new new new new new new new new new new new Doctor.**

"**Hello Doctor, it's so very very nice to meet you" :)**


	2. How I Thought It Would Be

It wasn't supposed to be this way. He was in fact on his last regeneration. To all extent and purposes he should be dead. Buried at Trenzalore. But here he was, taking the first few tentative steps of his fourteenth life.

Was it fourteen?

Grandfather, Hobo, Dandy, Eccentric, Celery boy, clown, the mysterious one, the kind one, War, Moody, Stickman, bow tie.

And then there was that messy business with the botched regeneration.

Yes, fourteenth.

Bow Tie. He used to say something in his previous form.

Bow ties are cool. Yes, that was it. Bow ties are cool.

Were they still cool on him? He didn't know. He didn't even know how he looked now.

He looked up from the TARDIS console tentatively and was faced with a wide eyed looking Clara.

They looked at each other not saying anything.

She's not saying anything, why isn't she saying anything. Is it that bad. he thought.

He didn't say anything, for once speechless.

One lost for words, the other afraid of how the words would sound out of his new mouth.

"How is that possible? I thought you said that you were on your last life" He heard Clara say to him.

"For once Clara I don't have any answers" he replied.

He stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes lit up in excitement.

That was him that was his new voice. Wait, he had heard that accent before. It was the same as his dear Amelia and his stalwart friend Jamie had. It was Scottish.

"Scottish, I'm Scottish. I've an accent, an actual accent. I mean sure, I dabbled in using one over the years. But this has happened, it's finally happened." he said excitedly.

"Doctor" Clara said.

"I can't wait to try it out. Get used to the vernacular. Ooh, vernacular, ver-nac-ul-ar. Now there's a word that sounds great with this new voice" he said at breakneck speed.

"Doctor!" Clara exclaimed.

"What? Yes, thanks. Wait, you called me Doctor" he realised.

"Yeah, that IS still your name, isn't it? I mean, just because you regenerated doesn't mean you suddenly decided to change your name. Does it?" Clara replied worried.

"Clara Oswin Oswald, let me tell you something my impossible girl and I want you always to remember this about me. I am now, and will always be The Doctor" he told her.

"Well I have to say that is certainly a departure from your previous selves." Clara observed.

"I didn't want to ask, in fact I was dreading asking. Ok, might as well get this out of the way. Am I ginger?" he asked her.

"Well, no." Clara replied.

He sighed. "Oh well, perhaps I'll get lucky with that one day. Am kind of losing hope on that front to be honest. By the way, what colour is it? It feels shorter that's for sure."

"It's kind of...well." Clara started to say.

"Kind of what?" he asked. A sense of dread starting to build up within him.

"Well, it's kind of brown, there's a little bit of grey there though." Clara told him.

"Grey! Oh no, not again. I look like somebody's granddad" he despaired.

"Oh no, it's not like that at all Doctor. In fact I think you look great. And about the granddad comment, you may have been one in the past. But you sure as hell don't look like one now." Clara told him.

"Oh good" he replied happily however then his brow suddenly furrowed "What do I look like then?"

"Well, I personally think you look like someone's cool Dad." Clara replied with a chuckle.

He found himself chuckling a little. "Well, that sounds ok, I think"

"Well, I think it's about time that you had a look for yourself. Don't you" Clara said as she rushed towards him, grabbing his hand and yanking him to the hallway of the TARDIS.

"Where are we going?' he asked her rather irritated at being pulled and dragged down the corridor of his own ship, a ship that he could swear was laughing at what was going on inside of her at that very moment in time.


	3. How It Actually Was: Theory A

He leaned on the TARDIS as he felt his feature change in a single painful burst. It was more sudden than before, perhaps because of the fact that moments before he went back to his default face, most of the work that he had done for this regeneration had happened just moments before at the clock tower, using the regeneration energy to destroy the Daleks. He was glad that that part of the regeneration had happened outside the TARDIS, she had complained to him the last time he regenerated about singeing her. In fact, when they were on the way to the junkyard, when she had inhabited Idriss' body, she told him that straight to his face.

Then went back to look at Clara cautiously. Clara stumbled back away from him, where moments before she had tried to touch his hand. He saw her face became sad in an instant. She was disappointed that it had happened. Her face was the first face that his new face had seen and he had made it sad. He looked into her wide eyes before he caught his new reflection in her brown eyes. Shocked, he cautiously made his way over to her, testing out his new height for a moment before crouching down to her to get a closer look.

Then there was a sharp pain in his side, he clutched it as tissue joined together to form something new, something that was there before. There was a name, he knew the name of them, and what were they.

"KIDNEYS!"

"I've got new kidneys" he heard a voice say, his voice. His new voice.

In an instant, he could see a glimpse of what they looked like within him. Oh no.

"I don't like the colour" he said rather disappointed.

"Of your kidneys?" Clara replied dumbfounded.

All of a sudden they both found themselves flung about as the TARDIS finally reacted to him.

"What's happening?" Clara asked rather panicked.

"We're probably crashing! Oh!" he found himself saying as he was flung forwards briefly in the direction of the doors before he managed to regain some composure.

"Into what?!" she said rather afraid.

"Stay calm." he told her trying to reassure her as he ran quickly to push some buttons, trying to remember something about flying the TARDIS, but nothing came to mind. He couldn't remember anything.

"Just one question." he said to Clara.

Clara slightly leaned forward slightly.

"Do you happen to know how to fly this thing?"

He looked over at Clara as she just recoiled back slightly fearfully.


	4. How It Actually Was: Theory B

Amnesiac

He felt his feature change in a single painful burst. Then jolted forward and was greeted by the face of a young woman. He looked rather surprised at her. She stumbled back away from him. He saw her face sadden in an instant. Her face was the first face that his new face had seen and he had made it sad for some reason. He cautiously made his way over to her, testing out his new height for a moment before crouching down to her to get a closer look. Who was she? He searched his brain for some indication as to who this young woman who was with him, but no name came to him.

Then there was a sharp pain in his side, he clutched it as tissue joined together to form something new, something that was there before. There was a name, he knew the name of them, and what were they.

"KIDNEYS!"

"I've got new kidneys" he heard a voice say, his voice. His new voice.

In an instant, he could see a glimpse of what they looked like within him. Oh no.

"I don't like the colour" he said rather disappointed.

"Of your kidneys?" The girl replied dumbfounded.

All of a sudden they both found themselves flung about as the TARDIS finally reacted to him.

"What's happening?" she asked rather panicked.

"We're probably crashing! Oh!" he found himself saying as he was flung forwards briefly in the direction of the doors before he managed to regain some composure.

"Into what?!" she said rather afraid.

"Stay calm." he told her trying to reassure her as he ran quickly to push some buttons, trying to remember something about flying the TARDIS, but nothing came to mind. He couldn't remember anything.

"Just one question." he said to her.

She slightly leaned forward slightly.

"Do you happen to know how to fly this thing?"

He looked over at the girl as she just recoiled back slightly fearfully.


End file.
